The Golden Moment

There are very few things in this world that I haven’t tried to be.

Olympic figure skater? Check. Model? I prefer pizza. Gymnast? They are not kidding about the butt hairspray. Veterinarian? If you can’t stick humans with needles, then you definitely can’t stick puppies with needles. Musician? Name any televised talent show—I auditioned for it. Lawyer? Not as fun as Elle Woods makes it out to be. Detective? Listen up, people: an interest in crime shows does not qualify you to hunt down serial killers. Read More

Raise Your Hand if you Have Ever Felt Personally Victimized by a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant

It seems that I’m late to the shit-on-Mary Kay party.

The Mary Kay problem goes all the way back to 1963. For anyone not currently up to speed, I’ll give you the short version: There’s a makeup and skin care company that found its way around some legal loopholes (it’s structured like a pyramid scheme, but calls itself something different) by recruiting individuals to buy their products out of pocket, sell those products to their friends and then recruit those friends. Read More

Frill Seekers

This summer, think cotton candy pink, snow cone stained lips and greased lightening. Because the only thing more important than carnival food is the way your skirt falls across the Ferris wheel seat.

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Three Ways to Style Your Skirts This Winter

We Chicagoans are kicking off 2017 with a series of whopping 17-degree days. Considering that it’s far above last year’s icy -2, we’re simply beside ourselves. As someone who has endured now five Chicago winters I feel as though I am in a position of authority to discuss skirts in January. It is a truth not universally acknowledged that locking your skirts away for the winter is not only a sad excuse to buy clothes you don’t need, but also a terrible misuse of beautiful fabric.  Read More

God Save The 90s

Upon the return of the choker earlier this year, one thing became abundantly clear—the 90’s had come full circle. Just when you thought some things would never be cool again, they start popping up in Vogue. Take mom jeans, bucket hats, or wearing chunky high heels over calf-high dress socks. But then, maybe we were too busy trying to dress for our given decade to notice that they were always cool. Granted, there are a few trends that we wish would just stay away, like manpris, terry cloth, bike shorts and butterfly clips on adult heads (never again). Inspired by the best looks of the decade and the style icons that made them timeless, this season we’re pairing our patched denim and nerdy graphic tees with our favorite fall staples. While you’re fishing the grunge out of your closet, make sure to call your mom and apologize for telling her that her mom jeans weren’t cool. Read More

How To Be Parisian Wherever You Are: A Review

“Always be fuckable.”

I snapped the book shut with a breathy gasp, glancing over my shoulder in the petite section of Anthropologie. I had no reason to be shopping in the petite section. The sales associate sizing pleated pants across from me thought so too. Like a guilty teenager, I became suddenly distracted by a pair of overpriced stilettos and made my escape. With one finger between the pages to keep my place, I meandered to the sale section where I read on:

“Always be fuckable: when standing in line at the bakery on a Sunday morning, buying champagne in the middle of the night, or even picking the kids up from school. You never know.”

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The Importance of Doing Nothing

My apartment smells like an Anthropologie candle. A steaming Disney princess mug filled with vanilla-flavored coffee beckons. Turkey bacon sizzles on the stove.

I move into reclined bound angle pose on my artificial blue yoga mat, careful not to smudge my drying tea tree oil face mask or nick my fresh coat of nude nail polish on the wall of my closet-sized apartment.

It’s Sunday morning and I have absolutely nothing to do. No managers to impress, no events to host and no homework due Monday. Read More